Movie |
Stand-up Comedy | Observational Comedy
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"Christopher Titus: Here's what bothered me about the last election. I could not believe we were fighting each other over these idiots. Like, half of us wanted this arrogant, pantsuit-wearing robot; I call her She-3PO. [laughter] Christopher Titus: And ladies, why was she wearing those square jackets? Was she running as Lego Hillary? [laughter] Christopher Titus: And then the other half wanted this arrogant, orange, delusional, Alzheimer's-ridden rodeo clown. [laughter] Christopher Titus: And that's why we were pissed at each other? You-you... people who are families were breaking up. You guys do get that we get a new idiot in four years, right? [laughter] Christopher Titus: You're gonna need your family to wipe you in twenty."
"Christopher Titus: Yeah, we have a president with no military experience and no political experience, but he has jazz hands. [laughter] Christopher Titus: [singing and waving his hands like Trump] "When you're a Jet, you're a Jet all the way." [spoken] Christopher Titus: What is that? And I... And I have to be honest. I feel bad for you Trump people, 'cause you damn well every time that man heads towards a microphone, you have anxiety, don't you? [laughter] Christopher Titus: And, man... and, man, how many teleprompter guys have shot themself in the face working with that dude? 'Cause he's on the speech for a minute. He's like, he's on the speech. He's on the speech. He's on the speech. And then, "Oh my god, he's gonna improv. NO!""